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.Sometimes tugohh, the sexual tension is so high that I?ve even told him ?well why not just have fun, college kids to crazy things while in school right??-and I feel I may regret ever having said that.I haven?t had a boyfriend or done anything physical with a guy for over 2yrs so it?s really not hard for me to wait for him to end his relationship with his current gf (and I feel it may get to that point soon) as long as I knew that I was waiting for something and not wasting my time. This is tough! Like I?ve said we?ve had a few talks on this whole thing before so I can tell him how I feel and let him know where I stand but because of the situation I can never get a confirmed or clear answer. So we?re both not sure on what will happen. After the talk we had where we decided we should ease up on the physical aspect a bit we did cute little pinky promises to each other, mine was that he promise not to change (i.e. don?t just stop talking to me all together thinking this is ?holding back?). His was that I promise that no matter what happens he would still want to be friends because he doesn?t want to lose me either. I was super hesitant because that?s always a weird question that depends on different situations. That and I didn?t want him to think ?i?ll still have her even if I don?t break up with my gf? (do guys say that as an escape?), however, I reluctantly promised. He knows that I want a relationship and not just a occasional/one night thing, that?s the reason we always hesitate and then stop before going ?all the way?. (we?ve never had sex or oral sex, just touching.)By now the sexual tension is really hard to deal with and I feel like just giving in and giving my body what it needs and I think he feels the same. He hinted at wanting me to give him a hand job and possibly oral but my concerns are:1. Obviously don?t want to be used or get hurt. He knows this.2. He?s given me a hand job basically before and I think he thinks that I maybe ?owe him one?? maybe that?s why he brought it up? I?m not sure. I don?t want him to think I?m a tease but I feel he could soon be getting more frustrated because I hesitate so much.3. I don?t want him to think that because I told him that kids do crazy things in college, that a FWB (Friends With Benefits) relationship with me would be enough.Believe me, 50% says don?t because he may just be using me and 50% says ?it?s go time baby!?. So frustrating!I plan on talking with him about the whole FWB issue but I need advice on this situation as a whole. If you don?t think it?s a good idea please explain, so I understand, all while realizing this is not just some random guy friend, he?s important to me.I?m so confused and torn. x___xWhy he won’t just up and leave the current gf: I?m 23, he?s 23 and his gf is 7 years older than him with two kids of her own-not his so that?s one of the reasons it?s tough for him to leave her, because he knows all she would lose since they live together and he’s paying rent she would most likely have to find her own place or he’d leave and she’d have to pay for rent which means she would have to quite school to get a job to support her kids etc. (which she should be doing already) And he really hates drama. Sometimes I just want to say ?grow some juevos and do it already!? We?re both at pretty much the same stages in our lives, while his gf seems so far behind that she sometimes pulls him down with her, I?m graduating this semester (him next semester) and I?m independent with my own transportation. I get it that he doesn?t want to hurt her feelings but I don?t get how he can just stay in a obviously failing miserable relationship and continue arguing and letting her take advantage.
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